A 16-year-old girl, Ferghana, having been killed and eaten by her own family, is made St Ferghana. Her femur, her only relic, is all that's left.

EUROPE: TODAY:

Two small countries, Tsergovia and Votskojek are fighting like dogs over the bone. Whichever one is awarded the relic will gain one available seat on the United Nations General Assembly.

NEW YORK: ALSO TODAY

Dortmunder and his crew are hired by the Tsergovian Ambassador to steal Ferghana's femur from the Votskojekian Embassy, a former tramp steamer berthed in NY's East River. It will be the target of a heist carried out by land and sea, and all it requires is finesse and split-second timing - what could possibly go wrong?

DON'T ASK.