Guido and Nunzio may not be the brightest bodyguards in the world -- but they certainly are faithful. When Skeeve "the Great" asks them to join the army of Possiltum, the two thugs volunteer without question...

Except: Whose side are they on?

Queen Hemlock's? The Mob Fairy Godfather's? Skeeve's? The two baffled bodyguards barely have time to figure it out -- they've been handed government-issue crossbows, armored with leather skirts, and given combat orders by the dreaded drill sergeany Smiley!

With war heroes like these... who needs enemies?