Mightily Oats has not picked a good time to be a priest. He thought he'd come down to Lancre for a simple ceremony. Now he's caught up in a war between vampires and witches.

There's Young Agnes, who is really in two minds about everything. Magrat, who is trying to combine witchcraft and nappies, Nanny Ogg.... and Granny Weatherwax, who is big trouble.

And the vampires are intelligent. They've got style and fancy waistcoats. They've got out of their casket, and want a bite of the future. Mightily Oats knows he has a prayer, but he wishes he had an axe.